Does a surfer master his or her art of riding a wave…for the sole purpose of getting to the shore? Absolutely not! Then why do we as human’s, need to master the art…of the destination?
Perhaps because we LOVE the purpose of getting somewhere…to have that feeling of accomplishment? Or to feel the euphoria of whatever we’re endlessly searching for…with that elusive goal!
Many choose to engage in life and to seek answers to understand why particular situations occur. And there are those who choose to act as if nothing affects them, or have the disposition that it’s “just not their problem”, by disconnecting. No matter what aspect you carry forth in life…your choice is your own and no direction is better than the other.
Though when selecting your chosen path…there is one responsibility that is a must, and that is the way you react to others. Especially when you find yourself entrenched in conflicts in life.
Being an avid OBSERVER, I have enjoyed watching how people choose to handle contrast situations in life, both in the positive and negative aspects.
We have the classic reaction…denial
We have the majority rule concept…which is to numb it away, through their desired addictions…or through personality foibles that allow them to find complacency.
We have the Spiritual path…those that like to apply the philosophy of rising above it, and seeking enlightenment through acceptance and fortitude.
Yep…that’s it…right there people! No way to get around…these are the top three ways of coping and avoiding. What? How can the last one, of a choosing a spiritual path of enlightenment, allowing and transcending an experience…be an avoidance or a coping mechanism?
This awareness came to me in as much of a shock…as it may to you. Most will choose to deny, shame and blame themselves or others. So how can a path of desired self- awareness, and a more important aspect of choosing to take responsibility, be adverse for our own human potential?
Well…folks! Even those who choose to walk consciously…still play in the “game” of the biggest cardinal sin of them all…and that is the “shame and blame” game. In fact…those who really enjoy the more advanced and purposeful awareness tactic’s of understanding and shedding light on our own shadows can be just as misinformed…as those who chose the classic subscription, of plain old “denial”.
Let me explain…if (fill in the blank) situation happened…and this really applies to those that feel that their walking on a spiritual path. Because their general point of view might be one of…this would not have happened to me…if I was even more aware, or tuned-in!
Discovering this is just the classic BLAME and SHAME…masked in the “holier than though” concept. This can be a huge awakening when you really become aware of this. When finding yourself in a situation…of conflict…it’s important to understand that it didn’t happen because you didn’t stay positive, calm, or you couldn’t rise above it. The mere reason the situation even appeared on your radar (or in your energy field)…is solely for the purpose that you needed to HAVE THAT EXPERIENCE! And there is a reason why you’re having that experience, and it’s not because you’re being punished or tested.
Not understanding this very important aspect of life, allows so many to fall prey to the biggest catalyst of income stream for self-help seekers. This is a huge business…with so many that are needing to profit from the mere fact “they” feel that they’re the one’s that have “the answer”, that you have been looking for. And with the purchase of their program, you too will learn how to “overcome”, whatever “issue” you are experiencing.
Our lessons in life are to be in the experience, to see the experience as just that…a “learning” experience. Most importantly, learning to NOT REACT…but to observe how you’re responding and not buying into the drama.
It’s like when you hear the statement (especially when you’re in thick of a problem), “that you somehow let this happen…or you attracted it,” or that you’re deemed to repeat it again and again...until you get it right. Yes, you will be presented with difficult situations again and again, because that’s the cycle of life. But it’s not because you couldn’t rise above the situation…and take a higher road..as they say. It has nothing to do with the fact that you’re not being “spiritual enough”.
Whenever we choose to deny, numb, blame, shame or rise above, you are doing yourself a great injustice. Because…against the positive intention of many of those who want to help inspire and educate us on becoming more self-aware, and to help our psyche’s advance through the dark and limiting belief’s. The one area that no one seems to emphasize is that when problems happen…you just need to immerse yourself in it.
Yes…completely immerse yourself, by staying present to the pain and frustration, that’s what it means to be in a state of complete non-resistance. When you’re in non-resistance, you then must also add another very important element, and that is NON-REACTION…JUST OBSERVE THE CIRCUMSTANCE. See what you are doing to either impede or heal the problem. Because there is no ignoring, you’re doing one or the other.
When you’re observing the actions of yourself and others, you must understand that you didn’t create “their” negative attitude or disposition, because whatever crap they brought into the situation is their own. But yes…that situation was created for you to be more in-tune with an aspect of their disposition that you might not like, and you need to admit that same aspect is within your own character! Thus causing a “rub” let’s say, to begin with. This is the aspect that is being triggered in you…and that you need to adjust your own perspective on. Because your job is to educate yourself ONLY!
But if your unwilling to see that these difficult moments is partly your contribution, then these altercations will just ramp up an already difficult subject, to begin with, in time. It’s almost like adding fuel, to an already robust fire…basically turning a campfire into a forest fire.
Your job…is to simply not react! So, how do you do that? Believe me…I’m still learning too. This is especially difficult when you feel that everything is imploding all around you? It’s not easy…I know of this personally…but that is the true reason why difficulties arise…is to see how you respond.
Bringing us full circle, back to the surfer, as the surfer sets out to achieve a seamless ride…not every ride is smooth (like life). They practice time and time again, falling, hitting rocks, to master their skills to effortlessly respond and not REACT. Reacting is a defense mechanism, and it can be especially jarring to the rider. Causing the board to respond negatively and for the surfer to fall off. The desire is to flow smoothly learning the soft subtleties of the board. Knowing when to shift their weight and to change their foot position to ADAPT to the surroundings…thus allowing for a smoother and more enjoyable ride.
The smoothness of that ride is totally your choice, a good surfer doesn’t blame the weather or environment. He knows that he needs to practice more on mastering his or her own skills so that they can handle anything that comes at them…during the ride of their lives!