There is such a difference being around those who “use their powers for good… versus evil”. Using powers for good is understanding the difference between coercion and attraction and choosing attraction.
Many feel that the ability to achieve, especially on a large scale one needs to dominate and control the situation that is called “hard power.” When the real truth is that the direct opposite…which is the true direction to achieving.
Knowing that we all have choices…and for many they feel they need to assert their power over another. Usually due to some great underling fears and weaknesses for which we all have…but in their case they need to severely overcompensate. These types of people are “legends in their own mind.”
Your true power comes in obtaining “soft power” and understanding that this is the only true way to form connections and achieving a desired outcome. Soft power, is the best type of super power when negotiating and achieving anything from business, political or personal arenas.
Try to follow these guidelines when honing the greatest super power of all-“soft power”:
People will most likely not remember what you have said or done...but they will remember how you made them feel. Never come into a situation trying to prove something. This type of maneuver always puts people on the defense. You want people to see you as a place of calm, support and comfort. Versus the “winning the battle at all costs standpoint.”
Never REACT…this one is a tough one. Our egos want to protest, fight and convince another they’re wrong. Once you try to explain yourself…you’ve lost your power. This one took me years to learn and adapt…it’s best…just to walk away. Because they’re looking for a fight and it’s not really worth the effort, perhaps in the moment it feels right-but after NO. Because they’re looking for a power struggle, and feel that a verbal confrontation is their greatest weapon and it empowers them to get another to engage. When you take that away…you take “their” power.
Understand how the other person hears you…then it is your job to find out what their needs are. Then knowing that you have what they’re needing to improve their situation, that gives you the true power in all negotiations.
Listen to what people say…they will tell you everything you need to know. But you can’t hear them if you’re doing all of the talking. Your job is not to convince them of anything your job is to assist them in what they want.
This is all about forming a connection and ability to attract another…so that they feel comfortable to open up…and want to do business with you. Nobody likes to work with someone that is a power whore and does hostile take-overs on all levels. Relax into life and what is happening…and if does not happen that way…then as they say…a new direction is needed.