Because I’m so visual I believe that the above image represents what we all do when LOVE comes into play in our lives. We try to contain it…control it!
LOVE comes in many different packages, and for many it means acceptance. But you must understand and believe that their must be self-LOVE or self-acceptance first. Without that as your foundation; everything else will crumble or never be enough!
Enough…this to me, is the exact word we need to embrace when it comes to understanding LOVE! We as a whole, come into relationships thinking that what we bring into that connection-is not ENOUGH! Basically we are afraid that when we start connecting with someone who we truly LIKE…we are afraid of never being “good” enough or feeling “less then”. This is especially true, if that other person is someone we are attracted too and look up to. So we start to feel small, and not use our words to express what is going on in our hearts. This goes for men and women, it is not just primarily a female tendency.
When someone selects you, to desire a connection with you, it makes us feel special. But something seems to dull that feeling with time, as we question how we “should” respond to their every question and intention.
Your first order in life, when being in a relationship or desiring to be in one. Is truly knowing that, what you have to offer is ENOUGH! Yes…inside you might question that, because that is the case with us all, at one time or another. But you first must project an aura of self acceptance. Then with time, finding that complete comfort in expressing what you truly desire in life becomes ingrained and easily versed.
I feel that most follow a common theme of trying to obtain mutual self acceptance by all. By dressing and styling their lifestyle in a manner that carries a safe and conforming image to what others will feel is acceptable. In other words, many do not like to stand out! Where some see “standing out” as awkward and difficult, I see it as a plus. Most might view this as being considered a “black sheep” to which is not about being a negative. Though they have a tendency to not like to follow the rules, but that also doesn’t mean your going to have to visit them at the local detention center. In fact they are trend setters and non-conformists for a reason, they found the courage to stand alone. Me personally relish in it. I am someone who likes to discover and embrace the “courage” to be unique and yes I have been blindsided by hurt and non-acceptance from others. But I rather live that way, then to live in fear of, what would have happened…if.
Most live their lives in the fear of risk, and they have a difficult time holding space for uncertainty. This point of view is NOT just for certain areas of their lives, this most importantly applies to the EMOTIONAL aspect.
We are all desperate for connections and more JOY in our lives. That discovery of LOVE starts, with expressing what is in our hearts and not withholding or CONTAINING in any way. The only caveat to this is, when you are in the early stages of dating or getting to know someone.